Growing up in poverty is not normal. It puts a strain on your development. You are guaranteed to experience trauma in your day to day life. The temptation is to believe that the trauma of the daily life in the hood is "normal." It's not normal and today Terence L. Shigg MFT discusses how that type of thinking can do more harm than good.
To accept trauma and to process it in a healthy way are two completely different things. Terence talks about his experience and relates them to concepts of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy.
Terence also talks about getting a therapist or a coach because it is not IF stressors will occur in your life it is just a matter of when.
Growing up in poverty is not normal. It puts a strain on your development. You are guaranteed to experience trauma in your day to day life. The temptation is to believe that the trauma of the daily life in the hood is "normal." It's not normal and today Terence L. Shigg MFT discusses how that type of thinking can do more harm than good.
To accept trauma and to process it in a healthy way are two completely different things. Terence talks about his experience and relates them to concepts of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy.
Terence also talks about getting a therapist or a coach because it is not IF stressors will occur in your life it is just a matter of when.
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Lyrics:let's go. Yeah, he came a long way I can do to do all came a long way could do was, I could do all I can do. I'm not afraid of the moment, I'm not afraid I can't hold it. I got to get up in the morning, I gotta know I'm going to take whatever controllers show me opponents coming opponent.
Terence Shigg:Hello, and welcome back to the peace project with Terence Shigg. Today we will be talking about mental health in the hood, mental health in the hood. So I call this episode, this ain't normal, and you ain't crazy. So we're going to talk in dive into the interesting or sometimes stigmatized topic of mental health. If you've been listening to the podcast, you know, my background, and I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. And one of the things I do is individual therapy as well as coaching. And I've been kind of in a little transition for my practice. And one of the things that I've been recognizing is have kind of moved more into the coaching aspect of it. And I know that that sounds different different because most people I think would say that they would go from the coaching to the more clinical aspects of it. But I think I'm starting to realize, and I think it's giving me more leeway to be in the coaching aspect, especially in the neighborhoods in the communities that I really want to impact. And I say that because it's some of the communities that I the communities that I'm really wanting to impact are the communities of black and brown people of color, the communities that have poverty, that are affected by poverty. And those aren't always the same communities. So I don't want to, I don't want to, to pretend as though that is the only time that those those things intersect. So and I don't want to, to continue to push that false narrative. But I do want to make sure that it's available to those in poverty or more impoverished communities as well as to people of color. And one of the reasons why I really got into mental health. Besides It was just something that I was always attracted to, I always tell the story is that when I was growing up that we used to ride the I grew up in LA for part of the time we ride the public bus. So anybody in a big city knows that when you ride the public bus, there's a very, shall we say, diverse group of people that get on the city transit. One of the things that I learned early on is that people felt comfortable talking to me. And I know one of the things that my mom used to always say is, if someone gets on the bus, they're gonna sit next to you, and they're gonna talk to you. And she usually put it a little more colorful in, I think it was kind of a family tree, he would say that if a crazy person gets on the bus, they're gonna sit next to you just get used to it. And that was one of the things that I've just always been, I guess that's just part of my part of my personality is people have always felt comfortable sharing things with me. And that comes from just regular people to, quote unquote, crazy people. I know, I've been on airplanes, and I've learned about farming worms to building building log cabins from people that were sitting next to me on planes that that happened to be what they they did, sat next to cornerman and cut men for boxers. And just, we just started up conversations and I'm most people that know me know, I'm not usually the one that starts up conversations, but people feel comfortable talking to me. Anyway, with that said, that's kind of how I got into the mental health side of it and really wanting to to be a representative for people of color and so that they would see that there is someone that looks like them in this type of field, because there aren't a lot of especially men or males in that category. So it was really important for me to be that representative to be there. And so like I said, I kind of moved into the coaching aspect of it because it's a little less formal and that stigma that is associated with being in therapy because when you ask somebody you tell somebody they need to go to a therapist that's just in the, in the community that come from that's the equivalent of calling them crazy. So that's almost like those are fighting words. When you tell somebody that They need to go to therapy. Even though in all of the communities we see people that have mental issues all around us. So before I get started, we're gonna take a break and hear from some of our sponsors. And then when we come back, we will get to it. So today's episode is called, this ain't normal, and you ain't crazy. We'll be right back.
Dwayne E. Shigg:Anybody can use foundation teaches our youth to step off into life with their best foot forward without cowardice, but with courage and dignity. ABC was founded by legendary life Heavyweight Champion, Archie Moore, in 1957. He had a heart and passion for helping the youth. He believed if we went into the business of prevention, we could save billions of dollars and millions of lives. He started ABC to teach us the basic ABCs of life. Are you concerned about the world today? Do you want to help train our youth to be the change needed in the world? Join us in the fight for equality in the fight for justice in the fight for our youth. If you would like to help, go to www.ABCyouthfoundation.org. That's www.ABC.youthfoundation.org. Be well and be blessed.
Terence Shigg:Okay, and we are back. All right. This is Terence Shigg. Once again. And I always want to give a little background I guess for the peace project. And I wonder if someone that comes in and doesn't, hasn't listened to the first episode kind of wonders, why is it called the peace project? And why do I misspell peace, I have started to remind myself that maybe I should give a little background on each one. So if you heard the story, just bear with me for a little bit. So the idea behind the peace project was something that I believed would give a vehicle to put out there and something that would be scalable, so that so that anyone could could use these principles to enhance not only their lives, but the lives of their communities and the lives in the society as a whole. So peace is spelled like peace, like peace have a cake. But it brings to mind the idea of peace and tranquility. And it's meant to do that. And the letters stand for the words P is for politics is for individual as an individual responsibility. He for education, C for community and then he for economics. And the idea is that those are the five means that we will attack whatever issues that come up from, and it will be a standard way that if you came upon something, you could say, Okay, what would be the political ramifications of this? Or who could I go to in the political realm? realm to assist me with this? And then Okay, well, from the individual standpoint, what is my responsibility in this. So that's the idea behind the peace project, it's to give a guide, a simple and very easily remembered guide to deal with whatever issues that come up or whatever issue you want to deal with. So that's the idea. So back to the topic at hand, the topic at hand is mental health in the hood, or this ain't normal and new and crazy. So I phrased it that way. Because there are many, many more people out there dealing with mental health issues, then we could even we even imagine, and unlike a physical issue, where you can see if someone is limping or someone is hurting, or someone is bleeding, mental health issues aren't something that you can readily that aren't as they aren't as readily apparent. It's not like somebody walks by and you look at them and you go, okay, that person's bipolar are they walk by and say, okay, that person is schizophrenic. We may have ideas of what those are, that person's depressed are, that person's ADHD, we may have ideas in our head of what those diagnoses are. But in reality, they're just stereotypes that we've come up with from ideas or movies that we've seen. So they're, they're really not accurate is the point. And why? Why do I say that? I say that because there's a stigma that's associated with mental health that's not associated with physical health. You know, if somebody breaks their ankle, or, you know, gets a concussion, there's no stigma to that to say that they're a judgment on them as a person or their character if they have those issues. But it's not always the same with mental health issues. And I think that's a that's one of the things that I've always wanted To overcome. So there's lots of reports out there, especially right now with everything that's going on that saying that the mental health issues are increasing. And I was just reading an article in. It says that, as of June 2020, during the covid 19 pandemic report found that approximately 40.9% of surveyed individuals indicated that they were struggling with a form of mental health issue. That's 40.9%. That's almost half of the people that they contacted, during this pandemic have been dealing with some type of mental illness or mental illness. One of the things I wanted to break down is how prevalent this mental health thing and mental mental health issues are. I know for me growing up in Los Angeles for a part of my life, it was a normal thing to see things that would be considered traumatic, I guess for for most people to hear gunshots are to hear the ghetto bird. And I do my air quotes, flying around to see fistfights and altercations to even see mentally ill people walking down the street talking to themselves snapping their fingers jumping around. These types of things happen on a consistent basis in the types of neighborhood that I grew up in, which is a more impoverished neighborhood, a neighborhood that the the income level, the average income level was below the poverty line. And these these communities, these mental health issues are more prevalent, as well as trauma inducing events. So I grew up with these events and knowing that one of the things I believe that contributes to the stigma with mental health issues is that mental health issues are things that affect them, or those people or that guy, or that lady, but they don't affect me personally, they are not going to impact me because I am strong, and I am mentally fit. And I think it really just plays into our our sense of mental health, or it plays into our psyche that to believe that it's a sign of weakness, more than just something that can happen to anyone. And we're all going to go through situations that are going to be stressors. So to think that it's just going to happen to them, puts us at a disadvantage, rather than to understand that it's going to happen to every single one of us. Here's an example. I got married, and we planned a vacation, we planned to go somewhere Sunny, somewhere beautiful, tropical, that kind of thing. So we went to a travel agency, and we decided to go to Fiji. And Fiji has you know, a series of islands and they're, they're all beautiful and tropical and warm. And all those pictures that you have in your head of what a beautiful island looks like. That's what it was. And we have this package where you could go to different islands and you could stay in a bungalow over the water and feed the fish to the you know, in the living room. So is this beautiful concept. And so we we went and so we get there, and we're we're in one of the bungalows and one of the islands that we stay at. And it's a beautiful cabin, it's got the palm leaf roof and it's got the wooden floors. And you know this nice bed and it's on a nice trail that goes down and you have like the free breakfast buffet which in the mornings and so it's it's a wonderful experience. But we're sitting there and we get there and we we go through you know the tour and we see the spa and the ocean and all the beautiful things. And we go to our room we have a great day. And we go lay down for the night because we think we're gonna stay here one more night and then the next night we go to another island well during that night, where as I'm sleeping, I start to hear little what it sounds like little little steps like running across the the wooden floor, because like it and I'm like What in the world is that? And so I just cannot figure out what this is. You know, and it took a while, but we finally realized what it was. It was they had geckos on this island. And what the geckos would do at night is they would sneak into, they'd come into the bungalows, and they'd forage for food in your room. So even one of these occasions that geckos have gotten into our vitamins and eaten part of the vitamins because they were curious, and they want to eat them. Okay, so very innocent, very harmless. To most right, that doesn't conjure up any traumatic events or ideas or memories. For the most part. It's just, they're just geckos. They're little cute lizards and less, you have something but lizards, which is a whole nother thing. But to me, that sound conjured up a memory for me, of when I was a young boy. And we were in between places this day. So as I've talked about times, before, I grew up in Los Angeles in, in an impoverished area, and at the time, we weren't, we weren't well off, but we weren't, you know, we weren't homeless. But we did have to move around a lot. And we moved around to several different homes and locations, between before I even got to fourth or fifth grade, where I can remember three or four homes. And that's something else that's unique, and that happens in impoverished communities is that we are forced to move locations at a higher rate than other communities. And that in and of itself, can be traumatic. But I digress. So what that memory brought back to me was there was a time when we were in between places this day. So we weren't homeless, but we didn't have a permanent resident. My mom rented a hotel room. And these, they were kind of like bungalow apart studio apartments. And it was one of those types of hotels where you rented by the you could rent by the week. And I could still picture it, each one had like a little three steps, seemeth steps that went up to the door, all the entrances were on the outside. So there was no like lobby type of atmosphere, there were more like just little bungalows, if you are starting to make the connection. So one night, it was. And I don't know if it was around Christmas, or it was around the time where I had gotten something, I got a new bike. So I remember that. But I remember going to bed, you know, having a great day, riding my bike, jumping jumps, all kinds of thing because there's a little dirt field next next door to this hotel. And I remember going to bed and there was only one bed so me Mom, brother, just in one bed. And I remember at night, hearing the sound very similar that running across the floor. Now, mind you, not on a exotic Island. When I was growing up at this time, this hotel was not located in Fiji and this hotel is located in South Central Los Angeles. So it was not geckos running across the floor. It was rats running across the floor. And I still remember waking up to that sound. And I remember my mom throwing a shoe or something at it and the mouse rat, whatever you want to call it scurries away. But I remember the rest of the night thinking and worrying about that sound coming back and what if they crawl into the bed and if they crawl on me, how am I going to sleep? I can't sleep with you know, thinking about you know, miles crawling on me. That thought kept me up all night. Now I hadn't really thought about that. until until I hear that similar sound going across the floor in Fiji and conjured up that same old memory and made it difficult for me to sleep in that hotel while we were in Fiji. beautiful resort Wonderful amenities, the bed was great, the food was fantastic The atmosphere was, the atmosphere was amazing. But I could not sleep because every time I would hear that the memory would come to me of the rats in the hotel in South Central Los Angeles, that's what I want you to recognize is that memories are stored in our mind in clusters. And sometimes things will trigger them be a smell, or olfactory or smell is one of the the strongest cues for memories. So it could be a smell, it could be a sound as it was, for me, it could be seeing something similar, that brings things up. And all of these things, kind of reawaken memories. And if we're not aware of it, we'll be reacting based on that past memory. So my inability to sleep wasn't based on being on this beautiful island and Fiji, this resort with all of the amenities. My inability to sleep was based on the time when I was about eight years old, in a hotel room with rat, and those memories got connected. So that's what I want you to think about when, when we're talking about mental health. And we're talking about processing memories. And we're talking about trauma. It really is about the awareness and recognizing that sometimes things are connected, the past and the present, are connected in ways that are working against you. And sometimes you are reacting in the present based on what happened in the past. But those are the things that when we aren't adept at dealing with, we process them in unhealthy ways. And to me, the danger in that is that it just continues to stack up. And life doesn't stop because you had an incident at work, or life doesn't stop because the bills are due, the rest of life doesn't stop because you got laid off, or because your husband or wife is mad at you or because your kid got in trouble. All these things can keep happening over and over again, which creates stressors. And stressors are, to me the key to increasing the odds of mental health problems. because your mind is trying to find a way to deal with the stressors. And the mind is a very powerful tool, it's a very powerful muscle, and it will find a way to deal with it. And it's not always the healthy way to deal with it. So that may turn into a self medicating alcohol type thing, it may turn into anger issues where you're lashing out at other people above and beyond whatever the situation is. Because you haven't dealt with these other problems with these other issues that have occurred, these other stressors that you've dealt with, you haven't found a healthy way to process them. And when I say process them, I don't mean just get them not think about them. I mean process the process, the means make, find a way to make that memory makes sense. So that it no longer impacts your future events based on that past event in a negative way. Let me say that again, processing it in a way so it doesn't influence a future event solely based on that negative event. A lot of the difficulties in mental health and mental health practices in communities and impoverished communities, I think can be dealt with. But we really have to start looking at it and recognizing that these traumas are very widespread. And especially and I would say it's directly proportional to the level is and this is my opinion. So I can't say that there's a study for this, but I would say that it's inversely proportional to the level of income of communities, meaning trauma is so the lower the income in the community, the higher the incidence of trauma in that community. And I really believe that. And I believe that not as a means of a, an excuse for anyone. I believe that as a means for awareness, so that we recognize that this isn't a level playing field, that all the resources and opportunities that we want to bestow upon everybody and we we are proud of as in the United States is one of those countries where you can bring yourself up above where you started. And that's a great thing. But we also have to realize that, that level of to get to that level, there's other things that are in the way, for communities that are poverty stricken. And one of those things that is in the way is this level of trauma that is inherent in these communities. And I byproduct of that is the mental health issues that come along with it. And the fact that there's such a stigma in getting treatment for those mental health issues makes it an even more insidious problem. So my goal, I guess, my passion, and my, my hope, is to, one get rid of that stigma to go, Okay, this is something that, that everybody is going to have to deal with to one level, to some degree, meaning we're all going to have things that are going to stress us things that are going to traumatize us, we are all going to be exposed to something. And that something could produce a mental health issue, unless we are aware, and that we develop the strength and the tools to mitigate it. And everybody can use that. And I think it's more readily available in, of course, communities that have more resources, because with more resources, comes better health care comes better mental health care, comes more community outreach, and clinics. So this is what I want for all communities, and a specifically for communities of color. And I want this to be something that is a priority in these communities. And that'll be something that I'll be reaching out to local politicians and community leaders to start pushing and finding ways that even if it's under the, under the title of more coaching, so that we can have more classes and more education out there as to and about the impact of trauma and mental health and treatments for it and having it available. That's a start, because that's that's what takes away that stigma is education if people know, and I know they and I speak to that from the experience of dealing with law enforcement and mental health, because that is something that it is this the same type of stigma on it for law enforcement, as in the communities in the same type of stigma that's in the impoverished black and brown communities is that same stigma for mental health in the law enforcement community. And I saw it for years that no one wanted to really talk about it. Even though in law enforcement, there's a very high suicide rate. No one really wants to talk about the reasons why there is a suicide rate and what the reasons why there is such a high suicide rate and what needs to be done to fully prepare law enforcement officers for the toll that the job will take on it. So I'm saying that in the communities that were that I'm talking to, and that I'm really trying to impact, I want them to know that there's a psychological toll that comes with growing up in the hood. The stories can be from coast to coast, but there's certain similarities in the stories, and that trauma is there. And I find it hard I'll find you hard pressed to find someone that grew up in one of these communities that didn't experience some type of trauma being vicariously through witnessing it hearing about it, or specifically to them or a family member. And the stories like I said they they may vary but they're very similar. I was just talking to a friend of mine the other day or and I put it in a newsletter. And I was telling you about a situation that happened when I was little that me and a couple of my buddies we wanted to go and play baseball. And there's a private Catholic School about a mile away. But they had a basketball court across the street from the school's campus. And the unique thing about that basketball court was that it had a nice high, I want to say 25 foot chain link fence around it, which, if you're playing baseball was perfect for us, because it was nice to be able to hit it over the fence. And you, you know, you had that feeling of hitting a homerun, we one weekend decide we're gonna go play baseball, so me into my friends to my buddies, we walk over there. And there's a group of guys out there playing older guys playing, you know, pickup game, half court game of basketball, and we're like, okay, maybe we'll get a game of basketball into but we're gonna, you know, stay out of the way because as the younger younger kids, you know, just stay out of stay out of the older guys way. And if they need an extra player, they'll last you. So we get there, we're playing for a little bit. And then all of a sudden, some you can hear some yelling back and forth, and you hear you know, the file coming in the calls. Because, you know, heard when you're playing pickup games, then the referees you call your own files. So I don't know. I don't know if most people recognize that. But that's how you do it, you call your own files. And there's always a guy that calls way too many files, there's, that's just there's always a character like that. Well, it seemed to be that that character was in this game. And that character in every hood, and every playground, the closer the game gets, the more he gets filed. And the more dramatic he gets about getting filed, that's just part of the game, getting close to the end of the game, obviously, they're going back and forth. And they're getting louder and louder. So we're paying a little bit of attention, we'd kind of take a break from the baseball, because, again, from growing up in the hood, you kind of know when to be on alert that something's about to go down. You see him gamepoint our guy has the ball, he goes the hole, he shoots it. And just as the ball falls off of the rim, and he misses it, you hear me Of course, if you call a foul, you get the ball back. They kind of look at each other, they laugh, and he's you know, he's still adamant about it, you know, bah, bah, bah, and he's talking trash, they give him the ball, and he throws the ball to him. And he wasn't ready for it. So the ball hits him in the chest. So of course, now, his prize hurt because this guy just threw the ball at him. The guy wasn't trying to throw the ball at him. He's just, he was just running his mouth and didn't notice. So of course, now he wants to fight. And so the guy that tried to give him back the ball doesn't look like he wants to fight. He's, you know, he's kind of saying check, which means go take the ball and let's go. And our foul guy keeps talking. He's running his mouth, he runs his mouth. And so he gets into a fighting stance like he wants to, he wants to fight. So the other guy who did not want to fight looks around. And he's kind of like, you know, if that's what you want to do, let's do it. So they proceed the fight. And my guy that likes to call the files proceeded to get whooped. I don't mean beat up, he got whooped. So he's I swollen mouth bleeding. And finally, he just stops. And the guy who didn't want to fight in the first place. He's got nothing. It's like he's done. He's like, okay, we're good. Well, the other guy can't stop talking. So he starts running his mouth again. And he turns to, to leave the game and to walk out of the basketball court. And the last thing he says he looks back and he says, You wait till I tell my homeys what you did to me. And it was almost a must have just like, it's like he flicked the switch, because everybody on that court, including the guy that didn't really want to fight, their eyes just lit up. And as soon as like one of those things when you say and you want to try and grab it back. It's almost as if he said it and he knew he messed up as soon as he said it, because as soon as those eyes lit up, he took off running. And he's gone. And everybody on those guys in the court, they look around, they see our baseball bat, they run over take all our backs, we only had like three of them. Take our bats, and they chase after. So this kid is running for his life, and they're chasing after him a baseball bat. Now I tell that story now, and it still tickles me. But I think about it. And I'm like this is the story of a kid is I couldn't have been more than eight at the time. sitting here watching what to me were, you know, grown ups because they're probably high schoolers. get into a fight, one guy get bloodied. And then they chase him down with the bat. Now they brought our bats back, and they weren't any blood on when they brought them back. So I didn't see it. So I don't know if they actually caught them or not. But again, that to me is to most young children, that would be a traumatic event. But that's just one of the things that was commonplace, too commonplace in the community that I grew up between that in the gunshots, and the helicopters. This was just par for the course. And I think we need to take a look at this and recognize that these incidents, and our communities are being traumatized. And it's being ignored. And it's being treated as if it's okay. And it's being treated as if you should just rub some dirt on it. And no one wants to actually talk about it and say, You know what, it's wrong. And I'm sorry, to all of the the families and the kids that have to grow up with the regular sounds of sirens, and helicopters and gunshots. I'm sorry that that is a norm for you. Because that's not normal. And as I said, this ain't normal. And you ain't crazy. But we got to get a handle on this and be aware of it so that what we are going to teach going further, is just as well known and as prevalent as a push up. Because every kid knows that if he needs to exercise, he knows what a push up is, or a jumping jack or a burpee, or how to jump rope. But how many of them know how to take care of themselves and how to love themselves, or how to do a butterfly hug to decrease stress, or how to meditate and a three to one method. Every one of our families should know that. Because those are going to be the tools that they're going to need to overcome the stressors and the traumas not only in their communities, but in life. So let's, let's start not only taking care of ourselves, but let's start recognizing that we are all going to have stressors, we're all going to have mental health issues, we're all going to have something that happens that's going to take a psychological toll on us. And the sooner that we admit that, the better we can prepare for that. And the better able we are to help our children and our children's children prepare for that. So with that said, I want to make sure that the new know that there are lots of resources out there that have mental health practices. There's a Yana therapy is one and I will put the link in the notes. And Ayanna therapy spare specializes in marginalized communities. So that's black, brown, people of color, transgender, and it's all done. It's all done through telehealth, and a lot of the these a lot of mental health professionals are doing telehealth now. So you don't even have to go to an office, you can do it over the phone or over zoom. Psychology Today is another one that you can go to and find a therapist. And one of the things that did one also talk about is finding a therapist. Look, if you want to call it therapist, the coach have added I could care less what you call me as long as you're getting the help that you need. And these venues like Psychology Today, they they have a large selection of professionals of different disciplines and different styles that could benefit you so and to me, the main thing is really isn't there. Isn't there theoretical orientation, as they say, and theoretical orientation could be anything from CBT cognitive behavioral therapy to reality therapy. There's so there's lots of different Freudian. There's lots of different psychoanalytic I should say. There's lots of different theoretical orientations. But what you want to do is you want to find someone that fits with you, because one of the main things that points to successful treatment or coating now say coating for you, is the connection that you have with that therapist or coach. So that's what you're looking for beyond beyond all else you're looking for someone that can relate to you, someone that you can connect with. And so that doesn't always mean you're going to find someone that's culturally competent. When I say culturally competent, that doesn't mean you're going to find somebody that knows what it's like to grow up where you grew up. But if you find somebody that's willing to admit that they don't know and willing to listen so that they understand where you're coming from, without the prejudgment of where they came from, that's what you're looking for. So it doesn't always have to be someone that that looks like you or came from where you came from. But it has to be someone that's willing to listen and understand who you are and where you came from. And that's a very key component. Now, if you want someone that looks like you and came from where you came from, that's fine. That's your prerogative. And that's one of the things I want you to understand is to get into this process. Because coaching and therapy is a process to get into this process. It's, it's something that has to be something that you're comfortable with, it has to be a process that you are not only willing to participate in, but that you feel as though the other person that is helping you that is guiding you is knowledgeable, is competent, is caring, and is open. And you get to choose that. So if you come across a counselor, coach, therapist, that you don't feel comfortable with, don't write off all all counselors and coaches because of that one, go find another one, and another one and another one until you feel comfortable. And though the way I look at it is because you are you're investing in you. So if you're investing and you find the best person for you don't give up on the process, because you ran into one person who did not understand and did not have a frame of reference to even comprehend where you were coming from. And I think that's one of the things that that inhibits us. And when I say us, I mean minority people, people, brown people, people of color, people in the communities from reaching out, because the usual, the normal in my air quotes are active again, is that we're feeling as though we're going to go and talk to someone that has no idea where we come from, and has no way to that can't relate to us. But I want to tell you, there's a lot of good, good therapists out there that can relate even if they have never been in our situation had the blessing or the curse, however, you want to say it to grow up in many diverse communities, to interact with people from the riches of the rich to the poor, to the poor, to the nicest of the nice to the worst of the worse. I've just had that diversity of experiences with people. Everybody hasn't had that. But I've also have the the awareness and the ability to listen and to take in to learn about others. And above all else, that's what you're looking for. You're looking for someone who is willing to listen and learn. Without a preconceived notion, notion or preconceived judgment. And they're out there. My encouragement to you is Call it whatever you want to call it, coaching, call it friend making, whatever you want to call it. But remember that we all need someone to relate to someone to give us that little bit of extra guidance. So that's my episode for today. I hope that at some point, it was beneficial to you. And I thank you for spending the time with me once again. And keep tuning in. And I'll keep coming back. And as I always say, let's get to work.
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Lyrics:Let's go a long way and I can do I can do all I can do I can do I'm not afraid of the moment I'm not afraid I can't hold it higher. I gotta get up in the morning. I gotta do it for Kobe lately I know where Im going, I'm taking whatever controllers so many opponents coming opponent. I got a gift and I'm starting to own it.